I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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