I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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