I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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