Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
