I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
