Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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(614): View more from Ohio

I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

Fav 21 851 2074
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(303): View more from Colorado

meet me or not, i'm out of control

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(801): View more from Utah

we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.

Fav 8 4148 1338
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(541): View more from Oregon

definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

Fav 6 1796 975
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

Fav 1 964 1201
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(406): View more from Montana

He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.

Fav 1 122 210
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(317): View more from Indiana

my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles

Fav 0 34 6
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