All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
