he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
