Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
