FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Panties = found
Randomize
