Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
