Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
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Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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