Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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