Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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