I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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