We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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