Define "chronic" masturbator.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
