bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize