CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
