i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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