Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize