Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
