Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Panties = found
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
