Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
did i just pee glitter
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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