He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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