This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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