i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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