my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
