This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
