My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize