i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just googled if crying burns calories
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
