you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
