if you like me you must not know who I am
So how was he last night?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
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That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.