ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?

  Fav 21 2120 6106

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  you were so drunk you slurred your pauses

  Fav 6 4671 919

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me

  Fav 16 1604 3871

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.

  Fav 7 1658 1362

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (509): View more from Washington

  Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters

  Fav 20 4495 1627

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.

  Fav 2 1392 680

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS

  Fav 5 1159 1388

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it

  Fav 5 626 1147

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

  Fav 4 1009 943

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.

  Fav 3 1137 500

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember

  Fav 0 565 689

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (424): View more from California

  at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went

  Fav 0 708 594

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...

  Fav 2 295 670

  share tweet
  

• (478): View more from Georgia

  Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420

  Fav 0 359 261

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (512): View more from Texas

  you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Thats so sweet

  Fav 0 66 3

  share tweet
  

Randomize