ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door