I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
