I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sponge bath it is.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
