Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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