WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
