I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize