she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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