I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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