Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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