I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
