I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
