i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
