Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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