i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
