She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
