what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
