i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
