Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
