I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
