quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
