Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
