Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
