i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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