Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
