she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
