So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
