there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
