just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
