I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
