I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
