A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
