suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
