I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
